MemorialSuite guide

How to write an obituary: a calm, complete guide

A step-by-step obituary guide covering facts, life story, survivors, service details, newspaper limits, and final proofing.

Start with facts, not a perfect opening

Write down the full name exactly as the family uses it, including a maiden name or nickname only when wanted. Add the death date, age if the birth date is known, and city of residence. These details form the factual spine; the warmer writing comes after.

Choose the form that matches the information

A full obituary normally has enough substance for a brief life story, a family paragraph, and service information. When only a few facts are available, a short death notice is honest and useful. Padding a thin intake with generic praise makes the notice feel less personal and increases the chance of an unsupported claim.

Build the life story from specific categories

1. Education, work, military service, caregiving, or community service.
2. Passions and routines that people truly associated with them.
3. Qualities shown through a small example, not a sweeping superlative.
4. Faith or community ties, when the family wants them named.

You do not need every category. Two or three accurate details usually carry more weight than a long list of adjectives.

Handle survivors consistently

Choose one family-approved order and distinguish survivors from people who died earlier. Confirm spelling, relationship labels, spouses or partners, and counts such as grandchildren. A structured list is safer than reconstructing this paragraph from memory at the end.

Keep newspaper and web versions separate

Newspapers often charge by word or line and may impose a word limit. A concise newspaper version can preserve the essential facts while a fuller web version carries more of the life story. Ask the paper for its current rules and fees; the writing service and publication fee are separate.

Proof aloud and fact by fact

First read for names, dates, places, relationships, and service details. Then read for tone. Reading aloud catches repeated words and sentences that sound formal on screen but awkward in a family's voice.